Spring Came So Fast! I was hoping that winter would last as long as possible, but I'm so happy to see my plants growing twice as fast. And honestly, I’m happy to see the sun myself too - at least while it's not too hot outside.

Anyway, some things have changed over the past week that I really want to share here:

A couple of weeks ago, I caught myself being annoyed with everything and realized that I’ve reached the age (or the mental state) where your surroundings start to affect you more than you think. Almost my whole life, I’ve had more of a r/malelivingspace approach to "interior design" - if you can even call it that. It wasn’t bad, but it was too utilitarian: simple, clean, but always just a desk with a computer and some kind of bed or mattress. It seemed like I didn’t care at all, because the fewer things you have around you, the less you think about them. It was just easier to focus on the "important" stuff.

But now, getting closer to 27, I clearly see that I do care about these things a lot more. Maybe my definition of “important” has shifted, and now this has become the important stuff instead of productivity. So, I finally decided to make my home feel like a place a human actually lives in - and immediately hit a wall: I had no clue how to do that.

Obviously, like any person, I have a taste in things and can separate what I like from what I don’t, but how do you apply that to something as complex as a living space? There are hundreds of small details that, in the end, make everything look cohesive - as a whole. Because of this, I spent the entire last week (and almost all of the previous one) reading about interior design, different styles & principles, and how to apply them. I still feel stupid af in this field, but a lot of things make way more sense now.

I've already made a reference board, moved some furniture, changed the room layout (after sketching dozens of variations and struggling to pick one), and ordered some smaller things - like bed sheets, lights, etc. At first, I wanted to document the whole process here, but then I figured it might feel uncomfortable, considering I’m renting and don’t really feel like sharing something that personal. Maybe I’ll upload a picture in the end, if it feels ready.

Anyway, the whole point of this rant: don’t be like me if you’re in your early 20s! Your surroundings have a huge impact on how you feel, but it’s not always obvious. You could subconsciously hate your space for years without realizing why you feel like shit. And now, I see that it can be pretty cheap and easy to change fundamental things like layout - you don’t need to buy an entirely new set of furniture, you can work with what you already have. After a week of living in this new setup, I feel so much better, and honestly, it took very little time to change everything.

Oh, and I added a few new plants!

Reading update: since I started restricting my computer time, I’ve been reading a lot more. I was going to write a separate post about it, but it’s not that interesting, so here’s the short version:

I started reading Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk because I have the paperback in English, and I’d already read it in Russian. I stopped near the last quarter of the book with the realization that I just don’t like Palahniuk’s writing anymore. At first, I thought I was just being picky since I hadn’t read anything for almost half a year, but it turns out I just don’t like the book.

I still think Fight Club and Diary are great, and I resonate with his themes, but man - every one of his books is almost the same. It’s exhausting to read through all that nihilism over and over again. I’m convinced you could compress that shit into 50 pages, and it’d still be the same thing. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I just have different problems now. Or maybe that’s the coolest thing about art - that it’s basically like playing 5d chess. Constantly changing because you are constantly changing. Every time you read the same book, you’re actually reading a different book. But that’s a whole other topic (which I hope to write about soon - it’s been growing in my mind for a long time).

After quitting Survivor, I wanted to read something more chill and remembered Murakami. I know people either love him or hate him, but I’m fully on the fanboy side. Like with any great author, there are some controversial aspects, but I think a lot of it comes down to cultural differences.

I’ve read four or five of his books before and loved them all. This time, I just picked a random one because, at this point, I know I’ll enjoy it no matter what. I chose The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle - I’m halfway through it right now, and it’s amazing. Love it! Once again, there are some strange erotic scenes, but that’s probably just a Japanese thing if you look at any other Japanese media.

Here's a small piece from The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle that I wanted to share:

Everybody's born with some different thing at the core of their existence. And that thing, whatever it is, becomes like a heat source that runs each person from the inside. I have one too, of course. Like everybody else. But sometimes it gets out of hand. It swells or shrinks inside me, and it shakes me up. What I'd really like to do is find a way to communicate that feeling to another person. But I can't seem to do it. They just don't get it. Of course, the problem could be that I'm not explaining it very well, but I think it's because they're not listening very well. They pretend to be listening, but they're not, really. So I get worked up sometimes, and I do some crazy things.

I won’t even comment on it because anything I write wouldn’t have even 0.001% of the power of this paragraph. It feels great to be reading again, but at the same time, I feel like I’m just compensating for computer time. It’s still consumption - just from a different source...

When I’m not reading or working, I’ve been getting back into guitar again. I used to take classical guitar lessons as a kid and was decent at it, but after school, I just stopped playing. Probably because of turbulent youth and a million other things happening in life.

Now, after practicing touch typing for a few months, I’m convinced that you can improve quickly by doing something for just 20 minutes a day. So, I decided to give it a try and do some exercises. I even remembered a few pieces I played in childhood! So cool.

Music I’ve Been Listening To & Some Notes

• New album by Ichiko Aoba – Luminescent Creatures is great, highly recommend it!
• Finally listening to Jamiroquai. I always knew I’d like this kind of music but just never got around to it. So far: music is great, mixing is VERY questionable.
• Listening to Schumann’s Waldszenen, Op. 82 (Forest Scenes) – Amazing. Love it. I’ve been trying to get more into classical music (or Western Classical Music for all the experts here) for a long time, but it’s tough because it’s so different from modern albums. Everything is structured differently, and you need to find a performance you actually like (which, trust me, can vary a LOT). It takes a few extra steps to listen to classical music properly - that’s what I’m trying to say. So, I decided to start simple and pick a few short pieces.